BENAMBO SPACE EXPLORING
THANK u spearmintdeer.neocities.org
This website is my website - as a visitor you agree to deal with my bullshit. Thanks <3
I am a local hero and enlisted soldier. Time to deliver tea to Thanalan soldiers
You must give a gift to a man who knows a girl who knows a man in order to be told no, to come back and oh actually you need antelope horns. Okay i'm making a horn potion for this guy. What am I doing again? Okay he's literally gone the next day and gotten himself caught by a goblin. So we just let him go after we save him? Okay good job he's probably dead.
This website is my website - as a visitor you agree to deal with my bullshit. Thanks <3
Thanks for saving that random NPC yo, here is a letter of recommendation to another npc oh my god his cousin was attacked by KOBOLDS!
It's me Trachtoum, to prove that you are ready to defeat Titan you must defeat a nest of rats. You must destroy goobues. You learn this guy was tasked to do it because.. Right, we don't have anything fuckin better to do; weren't kobolds summoning Titan to march on and destroy an entire town? Ah fuck it surely there's enough time for a boulder smashing competition. Time to help Wheiskaet, another new random guy. Please bring us the ingredients for a exotic fucking feast so we can entertain two HIGHLY DISTINGUISHED PEOPLE. Of course you have to do side quests to get the egg.
This website is my website - as a visitor you agree to deal with my bullshit. Thanks <3
5 more story steps of looking for fucking feast ingredients.
In a epic battle that shall be forever remembered by goblin historians, you slay a dragon and return the goblins to their lands. They give you a hunk of fucking cheese for a bunch of rich people. Oh fuck you forgot the wine!! But Shamani Lohmani requires the FINEST AND MOST EXQUISITE WINE. He's a fucking rich casino cardshark tiny ass lalafel gambler and he literally has no significance in the story, why are we rushing to appease this guy? Because you're a nothing bitch, go deliver this wine to a dude, and then go kill some midges so he can sleep at night. After you do all that, Drest asks you to thank someone else. Go make this rich fucker a mixed drink. Now you've done it, let's find the RAREST WINE OF ALL!
This website is my website - as a visitor you agree to deal with my bullshit. Thanks <3
Oh my god you've made a feast for two noble people from Costa del Sol that means you're totally ready now.
You kill Titan thank god he was fucking sleepy while you were killing flies rats and collecting cheese and wine. You know what would've been a good story step to celebrate tension and victory? A fea- ohhh god whats happened at the waking sands?! ITS A MASSACRE-- IF ONLY WE WERENT MAKING A FUCKING FEAST FOR 2 RANDOM LALAFELS AHHHH.. how could this happen.. I thought I had this premonatory Echo power to sense events but i seriously couldn't fucking see this coming somehow.
This website is my website - as a visitor you agree to deal with my bullshit. Thanks <3
After feeling sufficiently like an idiot for not preventing catastrophe with your brain powers, you are tasked to find Cid at Gridania.
After more 'making myself useful' in order to even hear basic information (they love this plot device) you are once again cockblocked and told thanks for helping us, sorry btw we can't help you lol. Go here instead.
This website is my website - as a visitor you agree to deal with my bullshit. Thanks <3
Go here instead. Go here and here.
You finally get to feel like a significant character in the story when you save a Lord from assasination. He thanks you by referring you to his Lord buddy who says "Help me out too bro" and this is how you meet Haurchefant. What the fuck is even my goal anymore. Oh right, now i'm 'doling out fresh steaks'
This website is my website - as a visitor you agree to deal with my bullshit. Thanks <3
This story is driving me insane.
Finally get to do some detective work and make a discovery that a guard is an impostor. You feel some actual tension that there is corruption within the knights and lordship, get an opposing side of the story, that the Ishgardians are the barbarians. Lord Drillemont clears up this moral dilemma by directing you to literally execute the guy in the Stone Vigil lmfao. No remorse for filthy Dravanians, STOP RESISTING!!!
This website is my website - as a visitor you agree to deal with my bullshit. Thanks <3
It's time to use the power of a CORRUPTED CRYSTAL to power Cid's airship
How this is explained expects you to know what the fuck is even going on. You do all this shit with corrupted crystals and then get told that you're wasting your time. You give up this corrupted crystal arc immediately and it was entirely goddamn pointless.
This website is my website - as a visitor you agree to deal with my bullshit. Thanks <3
Welcome to my site! Apologies if it breaks on anything other than a 1080p monitor. I might fix that some day.
You go and kill some pirates and then now you're back on the Isles of Umbra looking for another crystal holy shit are you kidding me? We didn't learn anything did we? Oh no the Isles of Umbra are being plagued by a spooky siren ghost. You do this sidequest shit a while and finally Davyd can sleep, so he gives you his corrupt fucking crystal that he, y'know. just had. For some reason for being this omnipotent event-foretelling hero it sure seems like I don't know shit and everyone else knows exactly what random shit other people pick up off the ground. They push it in your face that you are wasting your time, the story step at lv.42 is named 'History Repeating' and ends with the 3 words 'Waste of time' nuff said. Oh goodness you need only the finest ice crystal to power this airship because.. fucking why again? oh it just works, who the fuck cares, WHOOSH lets go kill garuda fucking immediately. rush in and get cockblocked by your new nemesis, the Black Wolf.
This website is my website - as a visitor you agree to deal with my bullshit. Thanks <3